My Cancer Journey

I’ve been confronted with words you never want to hear – you have cancer.

I’ve decided to use this site to share my thoughts as I progress through this journey.  These are my thoughts – unfiltered.  Most of the posts are going to be mind dumps and journals.

I’d love for this to be helpful for others faced with struggles of any kind.

Patience

"Be patient and trust Me with all those things you can't control. My answer may take a little time, but I can—⁠and will—⁠take care of whatever is worrying you" I needed to see this today!

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Medical Expenses

Wow! I have been rather healthy my entire life.  My usual medical bills were my annual physical, annual mammogram, visit with the endocrinologist and various medication  I take.  All totally affordable and usually covered by a minimal co pay. Times of health insurance...

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The Unknown

Struggling with something to write this morning but I know I have to write something. This week was a week off chemo so it was a nice break from talking about my my disease.  That being said, I have felt a little more anxiety and overwhelm than usual.  A friend helped...

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Cramps, Farts and Chemicals

Why is there so much cramping? Since receiving chemo last week my stomach has become a cramping, bloating, feeling like it could explode mess.  I had been sleeping well but the cramping has started waking me up and keeping me up.  But last night I slept well again...

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A Hhelping Hand

Today is kind of a blah day.  I think with all the rain in the forecast that will be the standard for this week.  I feel like I am still recovering from overdoing it on Saturday and could sleep for an entire 24 hours.  I think I learned that lesson early on.  So no...

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Listen to my body? What is that?

Today I am tired.  I can't remember that last time I felt so tired that I wanted to lay on the couch all do and not do anything.  I am not only tired physically but also mentally.  The mental part is the hardest right now as it is allowing the thoughts I don't want to...

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Saturday morning Coffee

Usually on Saturday mornings I would have a peaceful morning of coffee before meeting friends to go for a run followed by breakfast.  We are the "We Run for Breakfast" group.  I miss running, can't believe I am saying that but it is true.  I miss the comraderie of...

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Chemotherapy

Today is my second day post chemo which I had through IV this past Wednesday, my der friend Karen volunteered to spend the day with me and it was a long one.  I am actually still receiving chemo treatment, they sent me home with a pump that will continue to deliver...

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Time to kill some bad guys

Today I start chemo with many mixed emotions.  I am glad to finally have a way to fight back and kill some really bad cells along the way.  I am also frightened, frightened by the unknown of what this new life will look like for me and my family.  I know I will get...

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The Almost Marathon

The hardest thing with cancer is all the waiting that goes into putting "the plan" together.  As a person who likes to have control, this is tough.  For me, I decided to take control of the things I could.  Things I have been able to control:  making a spreadsheet of...

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One More Sleep

Sunday morning and I just got home from my walk.  I feel like the are the most important way I can fight back and maintain my sanity.  There is so much beauty to be seen if you just look for it.  Eric and I typically walk around the same time and can usually count on...

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Getting a break

The last few days were a a rush of activity.  I found it to be a little too much at once and had a melt down on Tuesday.  The stress of planning and the preparation to fighting a cancer is a lot.  That was probably one of the best cries I had in a long time, I don't...

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Testing, Ports and PENN

While everything seemed to be on hold for the last couple of weeks, this week has been a blur of activity and honestly it is feeling a bit overwhelming.  I definitely had a break down yesterday but as always seems to be the case, there are people who support me even...

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New Insurance Day

Today is the day, the day my new insurance with my new job kicks in.  WooHoo. Actually, I am so blessed to have the incredible benefits provided to me by Adelphi through Omnicom Health Group.  I am blessed just to have insurance and to share in the costs with my...

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The river

Talking to People, and really anything that crosses my path. Riding my bike. Being near water and just listening to the peace and calm its flowing brings All these things are some of my favorite things.   Today I got my butt on my bike and rode to the river.  During...

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The peace after hard work

This morning I woke up to this photo. To me it resembles peace and relaxation after a hard day of work. Peace in God’s beautiful wonder of nature without distractions, just the comfort of being in the presence of others.

Last weekend Luke left Philadelphia to travel to New Mexico for 9 days of hiking with his friends from Boy Scouts. They are at what is called a High Adventure Camp called Philmont Scout Reserve. While there they will get to experience God’s wonders while putting in a lot of effort and work to climb up to a maximum distance of 9 miles with elevations over 1000. After each day of hard work, they will get met with the peace and satisfaction of completing something hard but getting to relax and relish in their accomplishments every evening.

I will start treatment next week and will carry this photo with me. I am prepared for there to be hard days, some really hard days, but I am looking forward to God’s peace in the comfort of friends who will travel this journey with me. I am blessed to have such a caring and supportive network of family and friends.

Many of you have asked how you can help. For now , the best way is to surround me with your love and support. I love being around people and know that will help get me through this. Feel free to write, call or just stop by. You will not be imposing and I will draw from your strength.

Have a great weekend friends!!!

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Strength through Suffering

Yesterday was definitely a day where I needed to keep a tight leash on my brain.  I really think that has something to do with not posting so I am not going to miss that opportunity today. Part of my morning quite time is to read various bible verses or bible studies...

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The Wait

I would never have considered myself an impatient person.   I was proud of not being part of the instant gratification culture, or so I thought, I was patient.  All that changes when you receive a cancer diagnosis.  The waiting is constant and it is soul crushing.  It...

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Monday again….

Mondays are always kind of a blah day for me.  They bring the end of the weekend along with early morning wake up alarms.  I set my alarm for 5:30 am so I can spend some time in my day in the quiet.  Mornings are peaceful, before the dog is up, before Luke is up and...

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Sunday Morning

This weekend was a little different than most.  After the meeting with the doctor on Friday I was feeling hopeless and lost.  What we found out is I do have cancer and it is likely a primary GI cancer.  We still don’t know the origin so I will be getting a PET scan to...

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New Doctor Day

Today I see a new doctor for the first time since this all began. On the advice from a friend, I messaged my Gyn Onc on Wednesday to see if my biopsy results were back.  She called Thursday morning letting me know it appears my cancer is GI related and therefore out...

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Waiting……

Today is 13 days since I had my biopsy and I am still waiting for the results and plan that will determine my next days and months.  The plan will be what will ensure my body beats the crap out of whatever this is out of my body for good. So much has happened in those...

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How did I get here?

I am not really even sure where "here" is yet.  Today is 11 days post biopsy and I am still waiting for the results.  The results that will determine the next days, months and more of my life.  The results that will say yes you do or no you don't.  Of course I am...

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Tara Turtle Ride

 

Sunday, September 25

Full details are on the Tara Turtle Ride page.

Some places to donate if you’d like: