I learned something

by | Sep 13, 2021

This weekend I learned a few things I hadn’t realized before.

After chemo on Wednesday I felt good until about Friday morning.  I could not wait to have the nurse come out and take the pump off my body, at the very least turn it off.  The constant sound of the pump for 46 hours had really worn on me and I wanted it to go away.  I believe now some of that feeling came from the steroids starting to wear off as I spent the rest of the weekend feeling weepy and exhausted.  My legs felt like mush, kind of like they do after a hard, long run but not as rewarding.  By last night I was starting to feel like this was going to be my destiny moving forward, I would feel weepy and exhausted always.  Thankfully when I I woke this morning I feel more like myself, ready to get my walk in and take on the day, no weepy mess.  I have to remember with each future treatment that I will feel like crap but the feeling will not be permanent.  I will get my head back, be better at controlling my tears and more at peace.

Another thing I realized was I have some of the most incredible people in my corner, people I didn’t know were pulling for me behind the scenes.  These are some of the strongest people I know.  These are people who have accomplished physical endurance I can only dream of doing.

I attended the 80th birthday party of one of the most amazing women I know.  This woman raised 7 or 8 children while holding a job as a medical doctor.  She also has completed multiple Ironman distance races, 140.6 miles, and qualified for Kona.  Not only that, she is incredibly humble and kind.  I remember speaking with her about her goals for the next year and she told me she wanted to qualify for Kona one more time before she turned 80. When I told her how impressed I was with her ambitions she commented that she didn’t fell worth as she was just a mom.  What humility!  Anyway when I wished this person a happy 80th, her immediate concern turned to me as she asked me what my favorite color is.  You see, she ties a colored ribbon to her bike for everyone she remembers in prayer.  When she rides the ribbons give her the opportunity to keep those attached to the ribbon in prayer.  She will now be riding with a purple ribbon on her bike, not lavender as we decided that was not strong enough, to remember me in her prayers.  How humbling for me that this woman is doing this….for me.

I also spoke with another woman I admire and respect for her athletic accomplishments and the way she lives her life.  She is also a multiple Ironman Finisher as well as multiple Kona competitor.  We shared a peaceful conversation about my journey and she shared her faith in my healing.  I don’t remember exactly what I said but I expressed some doubt and fear in my recovery.  I will forever hear her words in my head as she looked and me and said “Not my God”.  Her faith that her God, our God, will be the power to get me through this was a thought check and I will carry those words she gave me.  Not my God! NOT MY GOD!

Then two very good friends, who I have been trying to connect with for a while, came to visit me at the brewery.  What made the trip even more special is they did it after a very busy day at the Doylestown Bike Race.  Chris is a moto and spent his day circling around the track on his motorcycle and Terri spent the day watching him.  I know I was always tired after spending a day at that race and wanted nothing more than to go home and rest afterwards.  Chris and Terri came to see me!  We spent many hours just talking and catching up.  It was a well needed visit.  Thank you friends!

I am so blessed!

My gratitude for today:  To have lived a life that allowed me to befriend such incredible people, for feeling more like myself today, for the beautiful weather we were given this weekend.



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