Happy Monday

by | Oct 18, 2021

Another Monday and I a feeling pretty good.  I still think it is crazy how I can feel crappy after chemo and then about 4-5 days later start to feel normal again.

This is a chemo week so I am enjoying these last few days leading up to treatment on Thursday.  I relish these days and try to make the most of them. I will do my best not to allow the anxiety creep in as I get closer to chemo day.  I need to remember that much like to build leading up to chemo that there is a build of relief leading up to the days I will feel normal after chemo.

This weekend was all for me.  Well Luke was with me and we spent time filling out his college applications.  I can’t believe my youngest will soon be leaving the house to start his journey into adulthood.  I am glad to be able to be here with him.  As you can imagine, it is a pretty stressful time for him but he is handling it well and writing essay after essay to complete his applications.  As for me this weekend I had a Tara retail therapy day.  I started from one end of town and worked my way down.  I needed to get out by myself and have a day where things were normal.  Not that shopping until I drop is a normal activity but being with myself and making decisions, having a little control, was strengthening for me.

Sunday I had an even better day when I was asked to get a pedicure with a friend.  This is a newer friend in my circle but both she and her husband have become very important friends.  After the pedicure we met the boys for lunch at which I allowed myself to have a beer.  I haven’t allowed myself to drink alcohol as I worry it was a contributor to my diagnosis.  This weekend was about letting things go and living life one day at a time.  Even though I have a disease I am still me and I want to stay me no matter what.  This weekend was just what I needed to remind myself I have many years left and I won’t let what is going on in my abdomen define me.

My gratitude:  For new friends who feel like they have been friends for a lot longer, for letting go of anxiety and just being, for reminders that I am still me.

 

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