Finally feeling a little normal

by | Nov 9, 2021

Today I finally feel a little more normal.  Treatment last week left me feeling tired and nauseous but I am happy to be moving beyond that.  Saturday I worked at the brewery until it became too cold so I headed home, fed the dogs, crawled into bed and woke up 11.5 hours later.  I can’t remember the last time I slept that long, If I ever have.  I do have to give some credit to my soft and warm flannel sheets.

I think I was also feeling out of sorts because I really expected better news from my CT scan.  Don’t get me wrong, the news of shrinking tumors was great, I just thought it would have been shrunk more than it was.  It is funny how your mind can play tricks on you and when you want something so bad and hear some news other than you want but even though the news is good it doesn’t quite feel that way.  I have to get better at accepting the small blessings and being patient in the wait for them to bloom into big blessings.

Speaking of blooming, I am so looking forward to Spring this year.  I know it is a few months away but that is the time when things start to come back to life and become beautiful again.  This year will also be the time when the hard part of my treatment will be over and I will start to settle into a new normal.  I will bloom and am already thinking about how I will spend my time.

I want to get back to starting my endurance sports club, supporting all types of athletes while partnering with mental health agencies to help remove the stigma of mental illness.  There is so much sport can do to help calm the effects of mental illness and I want to help those affected find the outlet sports can provide.  I also want to get back to my physical goals.  Pittsburgh Marathon is still top of that list as is the Barbados Open Water Swim Festival.  How fun it will be to swim with the dolphins and sea turtles.  Right now I don’t have the strength for much more that walking but each day I walk builds the engine for when I am ready to throw a few running steps in.  I will keep adding steps until I run that marathon.

Please continue to send your prayers, I feel them and they give me strength.

Today’s gratitude:  Days when life seems to come back to normal, goals to keep me focused on a good future and everyone whom I plan to take with me on those dreams.

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