December 1

by | Dec 1, 2021

Today is the first day of December, also the last day I am 51.

December brings with it so much hope.  Hope for the birth of the savior, hope for new beginnings and hope for peace on earth.  There are the things I am going to focus on this month and I am going to stick with it.  The last couple of years I feel like I have become lazy in my joy for the month of Christmas.  My kids are getting older and the magic of Santa has changed and I have found the change hard to reconcile.  We always went all out with decorations and celebration but as they got older those traditions faded away.  Not this year!  This year I am going to bring out all my snoopy decorations and we will have a snoopy Christmas room again.  I love Snoopy so you will probably find me in that room just taking in the joy for that sill beagle.

This will be the last Christmas I will have around to share in the joys of December.  Luke will be graduating and if he gets accepted to the college he wants to, will be far away starting next year.  I am not ready to be an empty nester and am honestly not sure how it all happened.  I still feel like my kids are toddlers, believing in the magic of the holidays.  I don’t think the magic ever goes away but just changes and comes out in new ways.  You have to make sure to keep the magic and for some that can be hard work.  It is worth it though as there are so few times where we can experience the joy of something so amazing as the Christmas season.

My tree is up, with gifts wrapped underneath, and my mantle is decorated.  This weekend I will decorate the tree, all snoopy this time, and add some other touches to the house.  Luke wants to decorate the outside together so that will have to wait until next weekend when he is home with me.  I know I am lucky to have a 17 year old who still wants to spend time with my and that is never lost on me.  I am blessed to have such a loving young man in my life.

There will still be chemo through all this joy and peace and I promise to handle it with grace.  My hands and face will probably be numb, my body will probably be cold and I will want to sleep on the couch.  All of this is temporary and is a necessary evil to kill and control the bad cells in my abdomen.  I plan to do what I can this weekend to continue to focus on the positive light of the holiday season and treat the chemo side effects as just a temporary and annoying necessity.  I extend an open invitation to anyone to stop by and say hello.  I miss seeing friends!

Gratitude today: for the beautiful lights of the Christmas tree, strength to continue my treatments and maintain as normal a life as I can and for the beauty and magic of Christmas.

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