Back to work after a LONG break!

by | Jan 4, 2022

Well that is it, vacation is done and I don’t know how it is over so fast.  Time is so weird with the waiting for things to happen and then they seem to flash by in an instant.  Can’t say I did a whole lot of the time off, I had big plans but just didn’t feel like tackling many of them.  I did get most of my Christmas decorations down though so that was was a good thing.

I am grateful for the time that I did get to spend with Luke.  He was with me for Christmas so we got to enjoy each other’s company and rest.  Brooke decided to stay with her dad and that is ok because that is what she wanted to do.  I did send her presents to her father’s house and assume she got them.  She was not raised to be disrespectful and not say thanks but I am learning this generation is a very selfish one.  It is crazy to think of all the times I would remind her to say thank you and she has totally rebelled against anything that involves me.  I pray for God’s peace to her as she continues to navigate what seems like a difficult path.

I am also grateful Eric was able to be with me through the New Year Holiday.  I had chemo the Thursday before and was a mush on the couch the whole time.  I am trying not to allow myself to feel guilty for changing his world with mine.  I am blessed he is so kind and compassionate.

Today I will see the surgeon at Jefferson, where I have been receiving my chemotherapy treatments.  This will be the first visit with him and I am feeling a little nervous.  I found that I do better emotionally when I don’t have to talk about my illness.  Not that I want to live my life in denial but not having cancer as the central focus of my conversations allows me some time to feel normal.

Of course all that is going on with COVID tends to make me feel like the world is crashing in on me.  Not being able to be amongst friends at this time is so very incredibly hard right now.  I miss so many faces and conversations.  I feel like I am so non-committal with friend get togethers but know I need to be cautious with my health right now.

Today my eternal gratitude is for those who remain closest to me during this time and for Luke and Eric for being such strong supporters for me.

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