A Hhelping Hand

by | Aug 17, 2021

Today is kind of a blah day.  I think with all the rain in the forecast that will be the standard for this week.  I feel like I am still recovering from overdoing it on Saturday and could sleep for an entire 24 hours.  I think I learned that lesson early on.  So no walk today since there is rain in the forecast, I am not afraid to walk in the rain, just trying to listen to my body better who after a restless night of sleep is saying take it easy.

I wish I could run and ride my bike again.  I probably could ride the bike but with the disease in my abdomen it can get uncomfortable.  So my trusted bike sits, hung on the garage wall, waiting for me to feel well enough to ride it.

I have this feeling after my first round of chemo.  I honestly feel like things started to work at shrinking the tumor.  The pains I am having are different from that they were before and not as intense.  I believe God is the ultimate healer and with his power I can become completely healed.  It will take some some time but it will happen.  So as the bad guys continue to be destroyed I am grateful for all the ways this journey is changing me.

The biggest was is how I deal with stress and emotion.  My past few years I have allowed myself to become wrapped in incredible amounts of stress starting with a very unhappy marriage, emotional divorce, taking care of two children on my own, one with major anxiety and depression, financial stress and finding employment after being home for 12 years.  The craziest thing of all is I felt things were finally falling into place.  I felt comfortable financially, my kids were growing up and moving onto their next chapters and my job was fantastic.  All that then cancer was thrown at my feet.  You can’t control when struggles will arise but you can be ready with the knowledge this too shall pass.  When I look back on all the struggles I had, there was always one thing that pulled me out of despair and helped me move forward.  I have not felt that yet but know that it is there waiting for me.  Ready to throw it’s arm at me and say come.  I have got you.



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