Strength through Suffering

by | Jul 29, 2021

Yesterday was definitely a day where I needed to keep a tight leash on my brain.  I really think that has something to do with not posting so I am not going to miss that opportunity today.

Part of my morning quite time is to read various bible verses or bible studies I receive in my email.  A long time ago, a friend recommended bible study with Proverbs 31 Ministries.  Every day I receive an email in my inbox with a study to read.  The stories are mostly written by women and address topics common to our population, raising children, supporting friends etc.  Today the study was written by Lysa TerKeurst and was titled “Strength through Suffering”.  The theme of the study was Sometimes God’s silence is part of his Rescue.

I wasn’t sure what this would address but started reading.  In the beginning Lysa talks about excruciating pain she felt in her abdomen, a pain so powerful it lead her to the ER.  After days of pain and not finding a diagnosis Lys was left asking “Where are you God”, “Do you not see me”, “Do you not Care”.  All of these thoughts have been in my heart and I was able to relate for sure.

Finally after five days of pain Lysa was told that her colon had ripped away from her abdominal wall and was twisted and was in danger of rupture.  Lysa was rushed to emergency surgery to remove most of her colon.  The surgery was very dangerous and they were not sure she would live.  She did make it through the surgery and has continued to live for many years leading other to the Lord.  Her doctor told her he couldn’t explain how she survived other than it being a miracle.

In my journey I am still waiting for answers.  I am finding my self asking God the same questions Lysa did, Where are you, do you not see me, do you not care?  I do know I will be getting a PET scan and will have a port put in for chemo on Monday.  Some of the delay is because I started a new job on June 7 and will start on their insurance policy August 1.  I LOVE my new job.  Of all things, it is in Healthcare Market Research.  So we study new drugs and outcomes of novel therapies, maybe there is one that will help me.

When reading Lysa’s story and finding out her ailment was with her colon, her story suddenly became relateable.  My doctors believe my cancer is in the GI tract and have seemed to focus on testing the colon.  I believe God puts people and things in your path when he wants you to see it.  I was supposed to read about Lysa’s experience and will think about her miracle frequently.

Time to go for my morning walk with Eric and praise the lord for being by my side even when he is silent.



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